Humor, A Chuckle, Giggle, or Something Funny?

You can discuss some non-genetic or non-genealogical things here. Pull up a chair and have a beer! But if you bring up politics or religion, the barman will cut you off. The forum rules do apply here especially regarding civility.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:31 pm
28 bearblockyeah.jpg
Looking good and looking better . . .


Crew 1: Are going bowling?
Crewlady: Hmm, thinking about it.

Crew 2: Bowling, I have not done that in years.
Crew 3: Sounds like a great change of pace for me.

Crew 4: But I need some shoes.
BusterK: . . . but I got the big mello bucks.

Whole Crew: Okay!

Original Score Begins Playing:
Dinglying Dinglying Dinglying . . .

Opening Advertisement
Poottay Flakes, the stuff of champions, are more than pretty good. They are the breakfast cereal with something more than get up and go because they have the secret ingredient we call zappo making them the Lucky Stripes of great taste. So, the next time when you are in the cereal aisle of your favorite grocery store do not resist picking up some delicious smoking good Poottay Flakes; Umm Umm tremendous.

Preamble of Show

It all began in the usual way. It was a dark and clear sky night. It had been a long hard day's work. Now, it was a little past midnight. Strange glowing lights appeared in the sky falling in the distance. The weary eyes of David Architect burned with fatigue, stopping him in his daily quest home. As he regained his sight, the glow faded as he pledged to return in the morning.

When the bright glowing sun rose early in the morning, it was not hot. It was not cold. It was not wet. It was not dry. It was nice. It was very nice. Looking out the window, the birds were playful. It was as if they were laughing, laughing as if there were overtones of something joyful. It was an oath of something so incredible; it was nested within something we all think about when we are in love. Love such as what is found within the heart of someone who was cleaning oneself into something new and happy and playful. Birds entreat each day to waiting ears: the truth. Such faithfulness is a sound of joy, and it signals growth in compassion beyond the meaning of what has been really done.

Opening Credits

The all new Tasty Stink-a- ogie Chop presents “I am Hungry” in all new wonderful rainbow colors, a WezyMu production!

Starring: The Incredible Snowflakes; The Marvelous Goatheads; The Awesome Holy Ones; Capt. Wagg and the other officials; And introducing David Architect, Palmolive, Stealthy Platarat, JJJ, She Imp, the Dame, the usual gang of extras, and our special guest stars the Unpredictable PPs..

Introduction Advertisement
My applesauce, it’s my real applesauce! . . . Served with our Tasty Stink-a- ogie Chops too. And to cook those chops try picking up our new stick-free copper plated cooking pan. This is the real thing. It spreads the heat to cook those tasty slices in less than five minutes on each side. And do not worry about cleaning with our amazing Alice technology. Just toss it in the stink, and zap, bam, whammo . . . all cleaned and dried. Perfect for those hungry stomach sounds; and far cheaper than those other imitations; just call our number for a sales pitch to see how low we will go.

Act 4, Scene 1: They are Back, at least Doc.

Capt. Wagg: Well, can I speak to the Doc now?
Merlin’s parallel database query thing: The Doc has returned. He is putting away the machine now. My big headache from calculating these trajectories is better after that delicious drink.

Wisp: Hold on . . . he is on his way.

Closing Advertisement

Professional Actor 1: Wow, this VD Eighty Juice is great!
Professional Actress 1: What did I say . . . ? Good to the last drop.

Professional Actor 1: But is not that coffee?
Professional Actress 1: Only the sipper knows . . . try it yourself.

Thunder Dude: Your shiny and soft hair makes me wanting some uncooked crispy carrots.
Book: . . . that’s really cool.
Thunder Dude: <crunch> How do you keep it up baby?
Book: I use Smoke a Zen, a revolutionary new and trendy hair product to put the pep back into your locks.
Thunder Dude: Mmmm . . . Smoke a Zen . . .
Book: Yep, better than a donut.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 11:45 pm
29thinking about it.gif
Let me think about it, and I will remember in a second . . .
29thinking about it.gif (214.3 KiB) Viewed 2066 times


BusterK: . . . I got bad news kids . . . the big mello bucks aren’t coming until next season. This season is wrapping up.
Crew 1: Now that really makes me mad <Woooo>

Crewlady: I am really really mad <Woooooooooo!>
Crew 2: I need the bucks now <Wooooo!!!>

Crew 3: I am getting really steamed <Woooooooooo>
Crew 4: You can’t believe how steamed I am <Wooooooooooo!!!!!>

BusterK: . . . but I got the big mello bucks.

Stink-a-ogie Singers: Stink . . . Stink, Stink . . . Stink, Stink-a- ogie, Stink, Stink . . . Stink, Stink . . . Stink, Stink-a- ogie, Stink, Stink, Stink-a-ogie . . . Ahhhhh!!!!

Original Score Begins Playing:
Dinglying Dinglying Dinglying . . .

The all new Tasty Stink-a- ogie Chop presents “I am Hungry” in all new wonderful rainbow colors, a WezyMu production!

Starring: The Incredible Snowflakes; The Marvelous Goatheads; The Awesome Holy Ones; Capt. Wagg and the other officials; And introducing David Architect, Palmolive, Stealthy Platarat, JJJ, She Imp, the Dame, the usual gang of extras, and our special guest stars the Unpredictable PPs..

Epilogue: Part 1~ The Really Really Interesting Cliffhanger!!!

Capt. Wagg: I have some papers for you.
Doc: Well, here are some papers for you.

Capt. Wagg: Here are some more papers for you.
Doc: . . . and I have some more papers for you.

Capt. Wagg: Well????
Doc: Aaaaaaaaa . . .

Capt. Wagg: Yeah, can you be more specific?
Doc: Yes, I can . . . !!!! Really . . . !!!! Oh, it is only molecular oxygen making two waters and a lot of ATP before making carbon dioxide.

Glucose phosphorylation catalysed by Hexokinase, δGo = -16.7 (-20.9) kJ/mol

Isomerization of glucose-6-phosphate catalysed by Phosphoglucoisomerase, δGo = +1.7 (+2.2) kJ/mol

Second phosphorylation catalysed by Phosphofruktokinase, δGo = -14.2 (-17.2) kJ/mol

Cleavage to two Triose phosphates catalysed by Alsolase, δGo = +23.9 (+22.8) kJ/mol

(the Aldolase reaction is an aldol cleavage, the reverse of an aldol condensation)

Isomerization of dihydroxyacetone phosphate catalysed by Triose phosphate isomerase,

δGo = +7.6 (+7.9) kJ/mol

Generation of 1,3-Bisphosphoglycerate catalysed by Glyceraldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenase,

δGo = +6.3 (-16.7a) kJ/mol

(Glycolysis in which NAD+ is reduced to NADH.)

Substrate-level phosphorylation,

3-Phosphoglycerate catalysed by Phosphoglycerate kinase δGo = -18.8 (-16.7) kJ/mol

Phosphate transfer to 2-Phosphoglycerate catalysed by Phosphoglycerate mutase, δGo = +4.4 (+4.7) kJ/mol

Synthesis of Phosphoenolpyruvate catalysed by Enolase, δGo = +1.7 (-3.2) kJ/mol

(This dehydration reaction is Mg++-dependent.)

Substrate-level phosphorylation. Pyruvate synthesis catalysed by Pyruvate kinase, δGo = -31.4 (-23.0) kJ/mol

anaerobic Glycolysis pathway:One step conversion of Pyruvate to Lactate catalysed by Lactate dehydrogenase, δGo = -25.1 kJ/mol

Alcoholic fermentation: Stay thirsty my friends aerobic

Capt. Wagg: Very interesting, you are just a kidder!!!
Doc: Yeah, I know . . . anything else?

Capt. Wagg: Yes!
Doc: Aaaaaaa . . . What is it?

Capt. Wagg: You know . . .
Doc: I thought I did a good job explaining it myself.

Capt. Wagg: <Wooooooooo!!!> You know what I mean!
Doc: I think I am beginning to understand.

Capt. Wagg: The Banana . . . what about the banana???
Doc: Oh . . . like I was saying . . . It is about ATP.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:57 pm
supermoonsm3dec17.jpg


Stupid Mouse: Where am I? This is kind-of mysterious.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:00 am
Bozo.jpg
Bozo prepares the calamity for the story.


Wesy: Mucy?????? What izz all this I hear about you and Bozo, and where is the rest of the show?
Musy: Oh?????? You know . . . We were just talking.
Wesy: . . . Talking about what?
Musy: The all new Mello Stink-a- ogie and . . .
Wesy: ????? And what?????
Musy: An unbalanced force acts upon an object to change its state of motion. This can be due to several things. Collisions are related to momentums changing velocities due to some sort of destabilization. This happens when reactions occur such as when air and water are used to make a tree. Another situation is when gravitational forces cause contact. This type of force is one of several of the action-at-a-distance forces. Forces of this type act upon two objects not in physical contact with each other yet are able to exert a push or pull despite of their physical separation. The normal force is a contact force. These forces arise when the two interacting objects are physically contacting each other. The normal force is a collection of electromagnetic forces of many atoms repelling each other. The electrons within the atoms repel each other when they are near resulting in a normal force and keeping the two objects separated. The normal force is therefore a repulsive contact force that occurs between two objects while gravity is an attractive force. The obvious difference is that these forces are repulsive, not attractive. The normal force occurs perpendicular to the surface of the contact. It is the measurement of the force against an object. The normal force is one of the components of the ground reaction force. It cannot enter the object or become part of the object or surface. The two gravitational forces and the two contact forces are the two different pairs in this example because the forces are not of the same type. So, we could talk about the photon and graviton.

Charge, q, is always conserved. Conductors are materials in which charges can move freely. Metals are good conductors. Insulators are materials in which charges cannot move freely. Nonmetals are good insulators. You can't create or destroy charge, you can only transfer charge from one source to another. Positive and negative opposite electric charges maybe isolated from one another; like charges repel each other while opposite charges attract each other. Electric fields come out of positive charges, and goes into negative charges. The unit for electric field is N/C, or Newtons per Coulomb, and it is denoted by the vector E. There are two kinds of electric fields associated with Maxwell's Equations. The electrostatic field produced by electric charge, and the induced electric field produced by a changing magnetic field. Magnetic fields occur in pairs called poles. North and south poles opposite magnetic poles always occur in pairs.

An electric current maybe induced in a circuit by changing the magnetic flux enclosed by the circuit. Ohm's law states that the current through a conductor between two points is directly proportional to the potential difference across the two points where J is the current density at a given location in a resistive material, E is the electric field at that location, and σ is a material dependent parameter called the conductivity. Ohm's law can also be defined by V α I where I is the current through the conductor in units of amperes. V is the electric potential (absolute potential) caused by q, which is experienced by q(0). V = U/q(0) = kq/r. U is the electrical potential energy possessed by q(0). The unit for potential is Volts (V) or Joules per Coulomb (J/C). The proportionality constant is either R or σ. R is the resistance of the conductor in units of ohms, while the conductance, σ, is the inverse of R. Resistivity and conductivity are reciprocals: ρ = 1/σ.

Potential difference is used in scenarios such as the difference in potential between the two plates of a capacitor, or the positive and negative terminals of a battery. The power has the units Watts, W, or J/s.

The photon is the gauge boson for electromagnetism, the quanta of the gauge fields are called gauge bosons. The key is time! The electromagnetic nature of light requires the time-dependent conditions of a changing electric flux. So we couple this concept with the idea that a steady electric current can be related to a circulating magnetic field and we begin to understand several things. Electrostatic induction happens when a charged object induces movement as when there is a redistribution of charges in another object. This is important because magnetic field B exists in a region of space if a moving charge experiences a force due to its motion in that region. The unit for magnetic field is the Tesla (T) or N•s/(m•C). A magnetic field cannot be divided, a magnetic field will always be dipole, a magnetic field is the result of electric currents. Magnetic force is the attraction or repulsion that arises between electrically charged particles because of their motion. Magnetism is the force that moving charges exert on one another as electricity is the force that charges exert on one another. The combination of electric and magnetic forces on a charged object is known as the Lorentz force.

These four things together leads to the wave equations bound as well as free from the original twenty field variables related to electrodynamics and simplified by linear algebra into a vector calculus using things like the dot and cross products of vectors and then later formulated into the language of vector algebra. Within the Standard Model all interactions of fermions are mediated by the exchange of a gauge boson; so all the forces may be described by the interaction of fermions and bosons. Each force has its own gauge bosons associated with it. The electromagnetic force is mediated by a single boson called the photon. The weak force has three mediating bosons, chargeless Z and the two charged Ws. The W bosons couple to the weak isospin of particles. The weak force is the only force that couples to all the fermions. It is short in range, causing radioactive decay and neutrino interplay. When a W boson interacts with a fermion it will always change the flavour of the fermion. There are no flavour changing neutral weak interactions. The strong force has eight mediating bosons called gluons. These are massless and chargeless and couple to the colour charge of particles. Of the fermions only quarks have non-zero colour charge. Gluons are the only bosons that have non-zero colour charge and can couple to other gluons. The strong force holds the nucleus of an atom together. Gravity is a weak force reacting over an extremely long range attracting any two things mediated by the boson often called the graviton. So, there are particles called Fermions that make up matter, and there are particles called Bosons that carry force. Gravity is always attractive and it is the longest ranged force mainly because it is always attractive. Electromagnetism can be both attractive and repulsive. It's a long ranged force too, however the mix of positive and negative charge cancel each other so it’s hardly ever felt. The weak forces seen in the nucleus are best known for radioactivity, and it is related to electromagnetism at high temperatures while the strong forces affect all particles with colour. Colour is just a property like charge that some particles often seen in the atomic nucleus possess.

Wesy: Not another repeat . . .
Musy: But there is more . . .
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:46 am
Morebozo3.jpg
This is a very complex debacle fiasco.


Musy: Wesy? Can you run faster than a dinosaur?
Wesy: Now, why should I be able to run faster than a dinosaur?
Musy: So I can punch it when it is tired.
Wesy: We need something better than that . . .
Musy: Did you know

1^2 = 1;
1+1 =2;
2^2 = 4;
2 + 2 = 4;
3^2 = 9;
3 + 3 =6;
4^2 = 16;
4 + 4 = 8;
5^2 = 25;
5 + 5 = 10;
6^2 = 36;
6 + 6 = 12;
7^2 = 49;
7 + 7 = 14;
8^2 = 64;
8 + 8 = 16;
9^2 = 81;
9 + 9 = 18;
10^2 = 100;
n^2 + 2n + 1 = (n+1)^2.

Wesy: Looks like you are adding 1 each time. Now why do I think that is interesting?
Musy: It is the punch line buster.
Wesy: Very humorous, Musy . . . .
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:35 pm
4Really hunry.jpg
Something really strange is going to happen.


Wesy: What are you doing now, Musy?
Musy: I am hungry.

Wesy: What are you eating?
Musy: Squirrel nuts. . . I am on the “The Kinetics of Diet.”

Wesy: I know I should not ask, but what is that?
Musy: If you have cheese and crackers, your body will use the calories from the crackers first. Then it will metabolize the protein from the cheese and, finally, the fat.

Muscle mass determines how quickly we metabolizes food, on the average younger people faster than older, men better than women. This is based upon the observation that exercise speeds up the body's ability to burn calories. The range on various Internet sites varies from 24 to 72 hours for the food to move through your digestive tract. A Mayo Clinic study found that the average time food spends in the large intestine varies by gender: 33 hours for men and 47 hours for women.

Carbohydrates are generally digested first. So, when simple carbohydrates are eaten like what is in sodas and candy, the rate is very high. It only takes the body about two to five hours to use all of the energy and nutrients from fruits, vegetables and starches which are high in carbohydrates too. Drinks like juices can take as little as 15 minutes. In general, fruits and vegetables are high in fiber moving through your system in less than a day often helping your digestive track run efficiently.

The average metabolism rate for protein and fat is about 12 hours, but your body first uses the protein. Once all of those calories have been used, you begin to metabolize the fats. Meat and fish can take as long as two days to fully digest. The proteins and fats form catabolism products from certain types of water producing molecular decompositions taking a longer digestion time.

Reaction rates are determined by pressure and concentrations. The equilibrium shifts to oppose the change according to Le Chatelier's principle. The system returns to having equal rates leaving the equilibrium constant unchanged. Concentration depends upon on a mass balance which follows the conservation of mass where each atom has its own unique atomic mass. In exothermic reactions, an increase in temperature decreases the equilibrium constant, K, whereas, in endothermic reactions, an increase in temperature increases the K value. Classical chemical bonds involve electromagnetic interactions between subatomic particles which are not highly affected by strong, weak, and gravitational forces. For small compounds, we need only to consider bond formation and breaking to determine the energy involved in a chemical reaction. Most likely, these bonds will be the strongest intra-compound force holding the compound together. Careful studies will always be frustrated by spin-spin coupling and those sort of things which are often neglected as well are the inter-compound interactions so important in larger compounds and solute-solvent interactions. So, altering the temperature allows one reaction to proceed faster than the other. When bonds are broken, we have an endothermic reaction. When bonds are formed, we have an exothermic reaction. This changes the quantity for the equilibrium constant.

All of this can be looked up as eating, digesting, and metabolizing. As the food is chewed, certain mouth glands release saliva. This digestive liquid contains specific enzymes breaking down all sorts of food starches making a mushy mass called a bolus which is swallowed.

After swallowing, the mushy food mass zooms down the esophagus not too quickly, but fast enough not to get caught in the middle of your chest when it encounters a muscular gate called the lower esophageal sphincter. Nerves and chemicals help to open it up to allow the crewed up food to flow into the stomach.

Acids in the stomach decompose the molecular structures which make up a solution producing another type of mushy mixture of gastric juices and partially digested food, called chime which flow towards your small intestine not causing acid reflux.

Once inside the small intestine, the pancreas and liver contribute digestive juices to the heterogeneous solution. Pancreatic juices break down carbohydrates, fats, and proteins while bile from the liver dissolves fat. Vitamins, other nutrients, and water move through the walls of your small intestine into the bloodstream by osmotic and such processes before the undigested portion is pushed into the large intestine absorbing any leftover nutrients from the solution. The rest becomes solid waste, called stool which is stored in rectum until the next bowel movement.

Wesy: Good luck, Musy. I gotta go. I think I should take care of my kidneys.

Dinglying Dinglying Dinglying . . .
Stink-a-ogie Singers: Stink . . . Stink, Stink . . . Stink, Stink-a- ogie, Stink, Stink . . . Stink, Stink . . . Stink, Stink-a- ogie, Stink, Stink, Stink-a-ogie . . . Ahhhhh!!!!

Book: Mello-everybody . . .
Thunder Dude: Is that M-E-L-L-O . . . the soft and wiggly snack that is great to eat?
Book: You bet . . . and you should try it with fruit cocktail!

Don’t miss our new show coming soon.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 9:19 pm
5really hungry.jpg
What happened to the strange glowing light?


Musy: Men are basic, and women are acidic.
Wesy: What are you talking about, Musy?

Thunder Dude: Is that M-E-L-L-O . . . the soft and wiggly snack that is great to eat?
Book: You bet . . . and you should try it with fruit cocktail!

Don’t miss our new show coming soon.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 5:53 pm
6bozomarch.jpg
Come on down for the ignominy.


Musy: What is the square root of one third?
Wesy: I am not sure? Why do you want to know?

Musy: I was trying to do a problem.
Wesy: What type of problem?

Musy: A hard problem.
Wesy: What type of hard problem?

Musy: A hard math problem.
Wesy: Are you trying to normalize three things.

Musy: Yep.
Wesy: It is like a pie being cut into two. Each piece is one half.

Musy: What happens to the third piece?
Wesy: You have to cut the pie into three pieces for that.

Musy: How about two pies being cut up into three pieces.
Wesy: You get six pieces.

Musy: You get a singlet and an octet. The singlet is invariant with respect to redefinition. Therefore, it has no effect in color space and cannot be exchanged between color changes?
Wesy: What language are you talking, Musy?

Musy: Red, green, and blue makes white.
Wesy: So how do you explain the square root of one half and the square root of one sixth.

Musy: Yeah, that is what I am talking about.
Wesy: Stick to light. . . Gluons are force carriers in quantum chromodynamics like photons in quantum electrodynamics.

Musy: Ooooh???

Thunder Dude: Is that M-E-L-L-O . . . the soft and wiggly snack that is great to eat?
Book: You bet . . . and you should try it with fruit cocktail!
Don’t miss our new show coming soon.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 1:08 am
7did not see hungry copy copy.jpg
Rumor has it that no one knows of the mystery locked in the shadows of the scripts!


Headline: Stupid Mouse nominated for an acclaimed award without appearing in a show for being the most mysterious actor of the year!

Musy: I heard the American Native girls were coming to Manhattan.
Wesy: I must admit I used the boson force carrier called photon to communicate.

Musy: I bet you still can see her shape as she walks.
Wesy: How did you know?

Musy: Your thumb was twitching.
Wesy: I was thinking about those 8 gluons.

Musy: I bet. What about the scalar boson Higgs?
Wesy: Isn’t he the supervisor of the detective you were gauging?

Musy: Oh, he means nothing to me. Just a weak neutral one, maybe at most two weak charged ones.
Wesy: How about the theoretical weak graviton attraction?

Musy: Well, gravity is there. It will not go away. You know, fermions are associated with matter while bosons are associated with force carriers. I bet, you remember those quantities too?
Wesy: Photons have some nice quantities. I must say.

Thunder Dude: Is that M-E-L-L-O . . . the soft and wiggly snack that is great to eat?
Book: You bet . . . and you should try it with fruit cocktail!
Don’t miss our new show coming soon.
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:27 am
8bbomm.PNG
When things seem bleak, the horror seems to begin.


Wesy: I see all these advertisers, Musy. But where is the script?
Musy: Script? This Bestdwelling coffee was so good, I forget.

Wesy: We need a script for the show. You just cannot slurp down this delicious brew forever?
Musy: Try this . . . some Little Elves wafers.

Wesy: Yum, the creamy middle is so tasty.
Musy: And what about the really faster picker upper?

Wesy: Wow, it makes cleaning up easy.
Musy: Hey, I got an idea . . . I will look for the script.

Wesy: Just what I thought.
Musy: I’ll get it. You’ll see.
PreviousNext

Return to The Corner Pub

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron