Jokes

You can discuss some non-genetic or non-genealogical things here. Pull up a chair and have a beer! But if you bring up politics or religion, the barman will cut you off. The forum rules do apply here especially regarding civility.

Posts: 326
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:14 am

YDNA:
R1b-Z12*
MtDNA:
I3b (FMS)
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 1:52 am
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Cop's funeral, a voice from inside screams,

"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"

The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters,

"Too late, pal, the paperwork’s already done" !
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Posts: 326
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:14 am

YDNA:
R1b-Z12*
MtDNA:
I3b (FMS)
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:00 am
A barber gave a haircut to a greengrocer one day. The grocer tried to pay for the haircut but the barber refused saying, "This week I'm doing community service. No need to pay."

The next morning the barber found a box of fresh fruit at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, "This week I'm doing community service. The haircut's on me."

The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A Congressman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, "This week I'm doing community service. The haircut is free."

The next morning the barber found a dozen Congressmen waiting for a haircut.
Use Profile/Edit Profile in User Control Panel to add your Y-DNA and mtDNA values.

Posts: 326
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:14 am

YDNA:
R1b-Z12*
MtDNA:
I3b (FMS)
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:02 am
A proud father was showing a fellow worker a picture of his five grown sons. His friend asked what they did for a living. The father said the older two are doctors and the youngest two are lawyers. The friend asked about the middle son and the father said, "Oh, he's a plumber. Someone had to pay for all the others' educations."
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Posts: 163
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:14 pm
Location: Sault Ste Marie, Northern Ontario, Canada
YDNA:
L21-L513*
MtDNA:
H1
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 7:23 pm
lol, sounds about right

M

GTC wrote:A barber gave a haircut to a greengrocer one day. The grocer tried to pay for the haircut but the barber refused saying, "This week I'm doing community service. No need to pay."

The next morning the barber found a box of fresh fruit at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, "This week I'm doing community service. The haircut's on me."

The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A Congressman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, "This week I'm doing community service. The haircut is free."

The next morning the barber found a dozen Congressmen waiting for a haircut.
Furthest Y line=Patrick Whealen 1816-1874, Tipperary Co. Ire. to Kincardine On

Y-DNA-RL21, R-513* (still looking for the 'lost Irish 'C' boys')

FTDNA=P312+ P25+ M343+ M269+ M207+ M173+ L513+ U198- U152- U106- SRY2627- P66- P107- M73- M65- M37- M222- M18- M160- M153- M126- L705- L577- L193- L159.2- L1333-
23&me=L21+
E.A.= S21-, S26-, S28-, S29-, S68-

Co Administrator of the Whalen/Phelan DNA Surname Project
http://www.worldfamilies.net/surnames/whalen
User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:23 am

YDNA:
R1b-L48-BY32442
MtDNA:
L1c1d(C8657T,16224C)
PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 2:08 pm
Where are they? Will it ever be a funny joke told?

Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:56 pm

YDNA:
R1a-L1280
MtDNA:
T2f
PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:07 pm
Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and says,

"Can you smell fish?"
User avatar
Posts: 163
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:14 pm
Location: Sault Ste Marie, Northern Ontario, Canada
YDNA:
L21-L513*
MtDNA:
H1
PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:16 pm
Smartest Man in the World
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."


Mike
Furthest Y line=Patrick Whealen 1816-1874, Tipperary Co. Ire. to Kincardine On

Y-DNA-RL21, R-513* (still looking for the 'lost Irish 'C' boys')

FTDNA=P312+ P25+ M343+ M269+ M207+ M173+ L513+ U198- U152- U106- SRY2627- P66- P107- M73- M65- M37- M222- M18- M160- M153- M126- L705- L577- L193- L159.2- L1333-
23&me=L21+
E.A.= S21-, S26-, S28-, S29-, S68-

Co Administrator of the Whalen/Phelan DNA Surname Project
http://www.worldfamilies.net/surnames/whalen
User avatar
Posts: 163
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:14 pm
Location: Sault Ste Marie, Northern Ontario, Canada
YDNA:
L21-L513*
MtDNA:
H1
PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:18 pm
Not So Dumb


Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude".

With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"

Then she hollered "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at
each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"

Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men are gullible.
Furthest Y line=Patrick Whealen 1816-1874, Tipperary Co. Ire. to Kincardine On

Y-DNA-RL21, R-513* (still looking for the 'lost Irish 'C' boys')

FTDNA=P312+ P25+ M343+ M269+ M207+ M173+ L513+ U198- U152- U106- SRY2627- P66- P107- M73- M65- M37- M222- M18- M160- M153- M126- L705- L577- L193- L159.2- L1333-
23&me=L21+
E.A.= S21-, S26-, S28-, S29-, S68-

Co Administrator of the Whalen/Phelan DNA Surname Project
http://www.worldfamilies.net/surnames/whalen

Posts: 326
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:14 am

YDNA:
R1b-Z12*
MtDNA:
I3b (FMS)
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:02 pm
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.

The girl has been watching him and says, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy, surprised, says, “Yes, how did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” she replies, “you keep washing your hands.”

One thing leads to another and they make love.

After it’s over the girl says, “You must be a good dentist.”

The guy, now with an inflated ego, says, “Sure, I’m a good dentist. How did you figure that out?”

The girl replies, “Didn’t feel a thing.”
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Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:49 pm
Location: Cologne, Germany
YDNA:
I2a2a1c2a3
MtDNA:
K1b2a3
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:05 pm
GTC wrote:“Didn’t feel a thing.”
Great!

please apologize my poor english!

a young priest is nervous on his first employment and preparing for his first mess. A young woman enters the church and opens her trenchcoat to reveal a beautiful naked body. The priest turns away in shame and thus frightened he asked the Jesus statue: "What shall I do?"

"Just pull out the nails of my body. I think, this is chief's business!"
Y (FXHD8) mt (D9M4P), MurtiX, DE1(DE22), DOD219, M111723 (M001628)
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